Mobile phone!

Well it’s kind of been a frantic week. 

A patient this morning gave me one of those - “Is it me?” moments, when you start to doubt whether you are missing something of clinical significance or just a losing the plot.

In his 20’s he turns up complaining of headaches everytime he uses his mobile phone on his left ear, it lasts only a few seconds after he hangs up.

So I ask if it happens when he uses a land line - no just his mobile.

What if he uses the R ear?  - not tried that, he didn’t want the symptoms to spread.

Had he tried handsfree? No!

The brain starts to doubt 2 things.

1: my clinical knowledge of brain tumours related to mobile phone use - the evidence is weak, but it could be, what if…..

2: my patient.  Is he simple a bit odd?

So I end up discussing it with the senior partner - conclusion.

 Pt’s a bit odd.  In the words of the senior partner:

“It hurts every time I stick my finger in my eye - should I stop doing it!”

Fair point!

The I see a woman with a breast lump. Makes me slighlty anxious. Post examination diagnosis

RIB!

Hmm, best get on an see what delights the rest of the day brings…
 ———————————————————–
I’ve recently been on a study day to improve my hormonal knowledge.

 Alas they didn’t ask the classic: ”Whats a Hormone?”      So I couldn’t answer: “I’m not doing that for that money!”

…here’s what I’ve learnt:

Pregnancy, Oestrogen and Women
Pregnancy Q & A & more!
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes university.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she’s borderline irrational.
A: So what’s your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labour, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural? A: Right after you find out you’re pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labour?
A: Not unless the word “divorce” means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby’s nappy very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in university.

“OESTROGEN ISSUES”
10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE “OESTROGEN ISSUES”

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You’re adding chocolate to your cheese omelette.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You’re using your mobile phone to dial up every car sticker that says: “How’s my driving-call 0800-”.
6. Everyone’s head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from “outer space”.
8 You can’t believe they don’t make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.
9 You’re sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday..