P=Q-D/C/BM

I haven’t got any particularly long and winding tale to tell this week, but it’s just been a bit odd.

Very busy (that’s not odd - it’s fairly normal). 

Unlike my days in the emergency department, my definition of busy is fairly moulded. I have set appointments, which more or less means I have a set number of patients I see. (OK so the receptionist squeeze odd ones in here and there, even the midwife got me to see one of her patients today).

The big differential between busy and the “q” word is: the quality of the patients.

I’ve developed an equation:

P=Q - D/C/BM

The number of patients with appointments (P),  is equal to the level of Q minus the proportion of difficult/complex/barking mad patients (d/c/bm)

Yesterday my d/c/bm factor was high, but today I have had (so far) a high q factor. 

Are you listening at the back?!!?

I often wonder why it is that my days seem to either have a High Q factor or a high D/C/BM factor, and very rarely a balanced combination. 

Basically everybody comes in for something simple (and I spend lots of time reading the blogs) or everybody is barking mad, complicated or difficult (and I spend lots of time trying to catch up because I’m running soooooo late).  All I want to know is WHY??

Question for the Nurse Practitioner for this week:

Was from a young lad - one of my regulars - who came to see me for the umpteenth time, with something benign and in no need of treatment.  His mum is a worrier - I don’t mind that at all, if you leave with nothing but a bit of reassurance and peace of mind, that can be just a healing as a prescription.

Before he left, the lad turned to me and said:

How come you know everything?

I had to confess that actually I don’t.  But sweet none-the-less and not bad for the ego.  I think of myself sometimes as someone who knows a little bit about a lot of things, but not much about anything.  I am no expert - keeping to equations:

x is an unknown quantity and a Spurt is a drip under pressure! (xspurt - you follow??)

In the news today: It appears that obesity has a genetic factor.  ”Scientists” found people with two copies of a “fat” version of a gene had a 70% higher risk of obesity than those with none, and weighed 3kg (6.5lb) more.

Does this mean that in the future people with the “fat” gene could have it removed/altered to stop them being so fat? 

Well I have often wondered why fat people don’t get rid of those jeans anyway, that bulge is so unattractive, if they got the next size up and stopped kidding themselves they’d look much better.

Hang on! Am I getting confused again?

I’ll be less cryptic next time I promise.