Condom Advocate!

Sometimes I think I have been here too long… 

Don’t worry - I’m not going anywhere, in fact I had an odd week on my blog.

Before this week - my record amount of readers per day was around the 150 mark.  This week I had 695 views in one day - and I didn’t even leave a post with Change of Shift this time. (By the way it is out again - but finish reading here before you zip off to Erica).  I think someone kept starting to read my pages but getting disturbed - 695 disturbances - sounds like a nurse - probably a male nurse (not multitasking!!- thought I’d say it before the girls got a chance)

Anyroad - As I have mentioned before, sometimes we use a bit of a script in this job.  I am a condom advocate, I don’t like sexual transmittent infections (nothing personal - I HAVE NEVER HAD ONE)  I have had crabs - but only in a sandwich.

So where is this leading???

Well in general practice it is a case of trying to find a balance between:

a: insuring your patients are not spreading their nasty sexual transmitted infections and getting new ones

and:

b: not getting that nasty little parasite in their tummy (AKA pregnancy)

Great condom ad: Protect yourself

Yes I can rant on all day about using condoms, but some people just won’t!  During this ranting to my patients I have a bit of a habit of saying:

“I’m a big condom fan - well, actually I’m not necessarily a fan of big condoms, just a fan of condoms generally” and then rant on as stated. 

So yes I should say “I am a condom advocate”, but it relaxes the patients when I say stoopid things, especially giggly teenagers, who sit there looking at me like I’m some nagging father figure. (Anyway they really shouldn’t be going out dressed like that!)  - my poor daughter, merely two years old and has no idea how much she is going to hate me in years to come. 

Anyhow (I’m easily distracted today)…I used my “Big condom” line again today, and my patient piped up:

“You said that last time I came”

OK so maybe I have been here too long or should just change my script a bit.  Of course I was tempted to retort:

“I’ve never been near you when you came - and if I was I would have used a condom! - now go away and catch something nasty!”

Harsh, sorry. Bit teste today!

This is becoming a bit of a regular feature…In the news today...

Apparently “People who significantly cut back on the amount of salt in their diet reduced their chances of developing cardiovascular disease…”  

HELLO!! My patients must think I spend hours doing unpublished research in my spare time, just for their benefit - I’ve been telling them salt is bad for years. 

OK - so there is new research, and I suppose it is useful as it makes the news, thus making people think they have found out some fascinating new information and so they might just put 1 kilo of salt in the spuds - so they cook quicker.  

For heaven sake - can’t researchers find something better to do, like find a cure for giggly teenagers! (I’m just bitter because most teenagers are half my age! - and what makes me bitter - too much bloody salt!)

That’s enough. Don’t forget to pop and see Erica…