Staff Nursitis

 Kim got me thinking about the treatment for student nurses, this in turn had me thinking about newly qualified staff nurses with what we called “Staff- nursitis“.  This horrid problem is an inflammation of ego shortly following graduation, and although it is self resolving problem, some cases are so acute that they need to be managed by more experienced health care workers.   Some of the best people for curing staff nursitis where the health care assistants, who could drop arrogant “but I AM the nurse” types down a peg or two quite quickly.

The treatment regeime also worked well for students suffering with “I-dont-wanna-be-here-hoea” who stand in emergency departments looking lost and not helping, counting the seconds until their placement was over.

The treatment in our emergency department was helped vastly by a nursing rotation, which meant your colleagues were scattered around the hospital just waiting to help with the treatment….

 So what am I talking about?  Well I’ve already mentioned sending someone to stores for diabetic soap, by the time they realise they’ve been stitched up due to their own naivity, the staff-nursitis is starting to wear off a little. Other classics include:

Sending your victim sufferer to pharmacy to get some Bowman’s Capsules.

OR: to the Orthopaedic wards for a “long weight” (or is that a long wait?)

OR: for the really dim ones : to gynae to get some Fallopian tubes.

A student nurse friend of mine, had a DIY store job in his “spare time” and was sent by his overalled colleagues to get a glass hammer.  So I guess this is not something exclusive to health care.

The morale of the story is…you are part of a team remember that - inflatted ego’s can soon be popped.

As promised (you thought I was joking last week!) - Word of the day: Sphygmomanometer.

Truely a brilliant word, firstly if you ignore the false vowel (”y”- (y not?)).  It has a full 6 letters before it reaches a proper vowel!

Definition: Well the “meter” bit means obviously that it measures something. So it obviously measures “sphygmomano’s”, which are the amount of Male mummies in a Sphinx. Doh!

In all seriousness they are so much better than the modern rubbish - but alas that Mercury is dangerous…

“I want to break free!”

That’ll do for this week - don’t forget to read  NOW!!!