Archive for July, 2007

At home with Max…

Posted on July 26, 2007. Filed under: At home... |

It’s a little unlike me to mix my blog with home life, usually very work orientated but I felt the need to off load my home life for a change – this goes on a bit, and I apologies, normal service will resume next week…..

We are in the process of exchanging contract with view to moving to a nicer house in the countryside.

At 16.30 yesterday we had someone who wants our house, and we have somewhere to go. It’s a nice short chain involving 3 properties only.  We were in that short quiet phase where all the surveys are being completed and the legal stuff gets sorted.

At 16.35 yesterday our buyer pulled out, making several lame excuses including the fact the garage is not in view from the house, so he couldn’t see his car and so was concerned re: security.  This is a lame excuse, put your freakin’ car in the garage – and anyway, you don’t have a car!

My loving spouse was in tears, she is besotted with our potential new house, and gutted that we might lose it. Our house was on the market for ages and despite huge amounts of interest, only one offer was made.

At 16.40 (having just got in from work – and from having an amazingly challenging day – I’ll tell you another time), I was instructed to go to my dad’s to pick up the lawn mower. 

 

Crisis management – get the bloody lawn cut ASAP our house is about to go back on the market, and it looks a mess.  Now I did have my own lawn mower, but 1 week ago my father in law blew it up. (To quote my daughter “Papa made smoke come out”).  So I borrowed one from some friends 2 days ago, so kind “papa” tried to cut the lawn again yesterday – instead he cut the cable!!  He has gone through a lawn mower a week for the last two weeks!

At 16.45 we sold our house (again), to somebody who was interested weeks ago, but couldn’t commit then, but can now. (and they put in a higher offer than the one we’d accepted and just lost! – ssshhhh!)

Immense relief!  My wife was shaking. Too much emotion for 10 minutes!

Later that evening we opened a bottle of wine, and somehow we got back round to a familiar subject – eternity rings. Now I know that rings are important symbolism to women.

I am married, and in this day and age lots of marriages break down, sometimes because people change, sometimes because people don’t realise they are marrying an arsehole. 

 I made my commitment….

 

…and I plan to stick by that.  Everyone that knows my wife and I, knows that we have had our ups and downs – and I don’t mean the usual shit of arguements and flings – We argue (apparently it is healthy), and to the best of my knowledge neither of us have had flings. I’m talking life shattering, wondering if you wife is going to live through the night kind of ups and downs. (to mention just one of two major life traumas we’ve experienced since we were  married only 5 years ago).  It may sound egotestical (purposally mispelt) but I believe many a weaker marriage would have ended a long time ago.

All I am saying is I am committed for life, but eternity?  Jeees! That’s like forever and ever.  Now I am not saying I am convinced by an after life, anyone that reads on this page knows I am a cynic, but if there is a heaven – perhaps you get to have guilt free sex with angelic beings on tap. 

“Oh, sorry sir, not you, it states in the small print you have committed yourself to another for eternity”

Full of men who bought eternity rings.

My wife called me selfish. I felt like pointing out how much of a rollercoaster ride we’d had in the 10minutes between 16.35 and 16.45, and how that emphasised how long a life time commitment was, let alone eternity.  But alas eternity in heaven with sex on tap would be no fun without my genitals – so I kept quiet!

I don’t expect I’ve heard the last of this.

I go to work for the peaceful atmosphere…

Incidentally I cut the grass anyway, and “Papa” has organised to have our friends lawn mower repaired, and aquired us a free one!

Change of Shift is up and worth a read as always…very colourful!! 

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Psychobabble….

Posted on July 19, 2007. Filed under: Benign |

Yesterday was a tad mad at work, but I was on fire, I had extra patients, had to wait for an ambulance to take my patient with unstable angina to hospital, referred others in and all this before coffee, which I had time to drink as somehow I had caught up. SMOKIN’!!

(photo credit)

My normal DJ was on holiday, so on my way home I was cruising the stations looking for something interesting, I stumbled across the very sensible BBC Radio 4. Where the only DJ’s they have are the Dinner Jackets the presenters wear (well probably not any more – but it’s that kind of station!)

The discussion was about the power of laughter, and suggested a hypothesis that laughing can release endorphins, which consequently can make people less suseptable to pain.

No! not releasin’-dolphins!!

Then when I’d done my evening chores I sat down and watched a drama which contained a story about witch craft and voodoooooooooooooooohhhhh!  The “hero” a criminal psychologist, was reassuring everyone that all the magic was simply due to the power of persuasion and the use of hidden suggestive words in the sentences….

Where is this going Max???

Well obviously this is a discussion about improving patient care….

I lay in bed last night, being buzzed by a bloody mosquito, and thought that I should fill my consultation with positive messages of good health.

Firstly I’m going to get a big picture of an eye, some ham and a well on my wall, so people come in and think “eye ham well”.

Secondly I thought I could hang a snelling eye chart with the letters spelling out “U FEEL BETTER NOW”

and best of all I’m going to say “well, how can I help you”

and when people leave and say “thank you” I’ll say:

You’re well-come – back and see me if you have any other concerns”

The only other thing I could think of is making people laugh…Still that might make people nervous…

Any other suggestions? Is this ethically? 

 Want more? I’ve written my 3rd piece for NursingLink. Sorry to hear that the smashing Beth has “retired” from Nursing Link, but I would like to publicly say what a cracking job she’s done.  Still she’ll still be around

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How to start a consultation (part two)….

Posted on July 5, 2007. Filed under: Journal from behind the desk... |

In part one we looked at patients who may be described as “poor historians” and give you very little idea as to their problem, part two looks at those patients who come in and have a more open approach to their consultation…

Sometimes it’s a case of….
“Well it all started in 1932 when…”

Max is interested, but could we perhaps start in this decade?

Sometimes, it’s a leading statement -

for example the 60 year old person, married for 40 years who sits down and abruptly declares “I want an AIDS test”.  You wiggle your bottom, get comfy and prepare to hear a true story, that even the best soap opera writers couldn’t have dreamt up….(and no I am not sharing this story with you!)

Today I was rattled.

 Prairie rattlesnake (Crotalus viridis viridis).

 If you want to motivate your practitioner, don’t go in with a weak arguement and an agressive tone….

“I’ve had back pain for 10 years and when I come here nobody ever does anything about it!!”

Max, as previously stated is a detective…so I go for a rumage through the notes, this patient had complained of his back twice in 10 years, the last was yesterday, when he was sent for an Xray (results pending), and the time before when he was referred to Physio.  Not exactly the picture of medical neglect that he painted!

So I pointed out to him, what he meant was that he was having treatment and investigations for his back, but the over the counter medications were not adequate and he had failed to mention this to my colleauge the day before.  He quietened down and left with a script for some diclofenac.

Conclusion (for practitioners): Allow the story to unfold, sometimes it needs nuturing, sometimes it needs some editorial encouragement to shorten and sometimes it needs to be researched to ensure you’re not getting a load of Bull.

Conclusion (for patients): We are here to help, tell us what we need to know.  The fact Aunt Nora’s sisters cousins friends vet once had the same symptoms and consequently died at the age of 106,  is not relevant. You may have to sit in the waiting room prior to seeing us, why not take this opportunity to consider what you are going to say!

Well you be pleased to hear Max is having a week off. But I’ll be back…

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