You called your baby what???

Obviously this post is slightly decreased in potency by the need for confidentiality, enough to say that during my working life I have come across some cracking names, some sweet, some hideous!

When I spent some time in paediatrics in a certain London region, my list of patients would make people think I was a mechanic. In one week we had Mercedes, Porshe, Ferrari and Harley admitted! 

 How common!!

If spoken in a gentle upper class accent one could get away with such names, however in a rough end of town these names did not have such poetic qualities…

“‘ere, Meer-say-diz- come away from dat firkin’ door, befores I belts ya one!”

Then there are the parents who don’t look into what a name actually means before labelling there precious little darling with it….

The examples that always make medical staff wince are:

Candida: Derived from Latin canditia meaning “white”. This was the name of an early saint who was supposedly healed by Saint Peter as oppose to:

Candida: a fungus which causes infections like vaginal thrush; well that explains the “white” bit - lots of nasty white “cream cheese” discharge.

and

Melina (sometimes spelt Melena): Greek for Yellow/honey as oppose to…

Melena: black, tarry, and foul-smelling stools

A picture of a black stool!!

So why did I decide to write a post about names?

Well despite feeling unloved and under appreciated by my patients in general, (exhibit a), one of my patients has just had a baby, and given it the same name as me…

OK so I don’t have a particularly common name, but it is a name that you hear from time to time. “Coincidence” I told the girls in the office. Then I spoke to the Health vistor who confirmed they had named him after me!

OMG! How am I supposed to react to that?

Well I suppose I should be flattered! Or should I get a court injunction?  Answers on a postcard please to:

“I’ve never slept with your wife” competition.

Freepost.

Never-everland!