Archive for October, 2009

It’s finally happened.

Posted on October 22, 2009. Filed under: Journal from behind the desk... |

Well it finally seems to have happen..I think! (hmmm, I’ll rephrase that before someone makes a smart arse comment about me finally thinking…)

Well I think it has finally happened!

No not that!

When I first started out in General Practice, I felt a little intimidated and a lot impressed when I went to the Doctors and asked advice on a particular patients care and, on just hearing the name, they would rattle off about that particular patient as if they had memorized their notes.  I mentioned this to one of them, and they said…

“You’ll be the same in a few years!”

Surely not!  I have a slight disadvantage, the GP’s usually see their own patients, and as there are 5 GP’s they only have a 5th of the patients to deal with, whereas I see everyone. Now I am less naive I realise the GP’s can’t recall every patient, but it seemed that way because on the rare occasion I go to them for advice, it is usually about a regular with complicated issues, and thus their Doc knows them quite well.

So yesterday was a sunny day, and I went for a lunch time stroll around town. I realised that several patients smiled and said “hello” to me.

I’m always cautious about saying “Hello” first. I suppose it’s a bit of a confidentiality issue, if I say “Hello” then everyone in the street might realise they’ve been to see me, especially as I live in a different town.  Mind you it’s not like I say:

“Ah, hello Mrs Smith and Mrs Jones. So Mrs Smith, how are those tricky piles today? Mrs Jones I trust you’re wearing a good incontinence pad, after all you’re a long way from your house!  Ah young Charlie is over the road….’Afternoon Charlie,  how’s the crabs?!” 

Instead it’s a nod and reciprocated “Good Afternoon” if one is received, and a half smile and nod to Charlie on the way down the road. 

Psst, how’s the crab’s?

After all it’s not just about confidentiality, it’s my bleeding lunch break!

Anyhow, I’m walking down the street, several patients saying “hello” (what’s the plural of Hello?  Hellos, Helloses, Helli, Hell I don’t really care!) and I look around, I see a Schizophrenic chap walking up the road, and then I see the woman with depression, and that bloke in the motor scooter with diabetes, who I have recently started on levothyroxine, and over there is one of the twins, with her friend who just had an unplanned pregnancy and didn’t know how to react when she had a miscarriage…and then I realise it’s happen!

No! I haven’t developed that ultimate nurse super power of being able to diagnose people just by passing them in the street, (Is it just me, or does anyone else pretend that they can do that when walking along sometimes!?!?  It’s not crazy, it’s just like people watching with a diagnostic twist – hmmm, OK sounds a little nuts!)

I realise I now know enough of my patients and have had enough encounters with them to know who someone is and be able to recall a fair chunk of their medical history, just like the Doc. said I’d be able to!

So I feel a little strange about this occurence. Is it time I moved to another area? Am I now part of society in this area, someone who is known by lots of people in the town?

I go back to my consulting room feeling like some kind of local celebrity, part of society, intergrated into the towns folk law of the future. I call in my first patient of the afternoon and I get greeted by….

“Oh hello, I was expecting a lady Nurse Practitioner, are you new here?”

The next thing I hear is the thud as my feet land firmly on the ground!

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You called your Nurse Practitioner what?

Posted on October 16, 2009. Filed under: Journal from behind the desk... |

Some while ago, I wrote a post called “You called your baby what???”  Well I thought perhaps I should turn it on its head and tell you what I get called from time to time, this post amazingly doesn’t include swear words! 

Yes, amazingly I have been called some unpleasant things in my career.

I decided to write this post after a week in which I have seen 3 of my regular patients and have been called several things, most of them quite sweet.

As a Nurse Practitioner I have a few problems with people calling me “Doctor”.  I’m a man, I wear a tie, and I run a clinic from a consulting room, I suppose the stereotype is bound to cause problems. I always correct my patient, after all I don’t want my employers to think I’m not being paid enough, imagine the guilt they would feel?!?!?!?!

None-the-less one of my patients used to call me Doctor Brown Bear, now I am Nurse Practitioner Brown Bear…but it’s a bit of a mouthful especially when you are 3 years old. For those of you not in the know, Dr Brown Bear is Peppa Pigs Doctor….

Oink, Oink!

I also get called several things by one particular patient. A charming gent with a slight mental health history, who always gets in a muddle. He is one of those people who likes to say your name at the end of every sentence, which would be fine if he could manage to say the same thing every time. He starts off OK, calling me Mr Nurse, the starts to get confused between my first name, surname and eventually starts to spoonerise. So I go from Mr Nurse, to Mr Max, to Mr Murse and Mr Nax. All in the space of a 10 minute appointment. Still at least I’m not called Friar Tuck, I never know whether that’s a terrible spoonerism or a proposition?

Other patients also call me “sweety”, “darling” and even “gorgeous”.

Needless to say my patients are often riddled with poor eyesight and mental health problems!

Yesterday I did get called “Wayne Kerr”. Well the statement was as follows… “You Wayne Kerr, I need my sleeping pills!”  The patient was quite drunk, so perhaps that’s why he thought I was called Wayne!  Unfortunately I didn’t give him his sleeping pills, because he had been drinking excessive alcohol. He thought I was being unreasonable as he’d only had 2 beers all day.  Perhaps I was being harsh, but I hadn’t yet had my morning coffee!

In other news…

Apparently Scientistist have found the Pheromones that can make you irresistable to the opposite sex…that’s apparently not as exciting as it sounds as the studies have only been carried out on flies!

Still having the opposite sex attracted to your flies is a good start!

Buzz…. off!

And finally….
Y ahora una pequeña nota al español… He recibido recientemente palabra que tengo algunos seguidores españoles. Tan ” Hola y Welcome” ¡y goce por favor del blog y fije sus comentarios… y apesadumbrado si mi español es un “pedacito oxidado” (rusty!!)
It looks like I’ve gone from Peppa Pig to Dora the Explorer…. (She has had a makeover, kids they grow so quickly, …before you know it Diego will be showing us how to use condoms…)
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Blog fog and 9 legged spider???

Posted on October 2, 2009. Filed under: Benign, Elsewhere in the blogisphere |

Arrg…it’s happened again. So busy the week has disappeared and my blog has remained unposted…. Kim can relate…in fact read her post

One thing did get my attention this week….Yes I was fasinated by a story about combatting erectile dysfunction. Apparently the venom from a poisonous spider can help as a remedy for erectile dysfunction.  Seems quite obvious really, any insect bite can cause redness, heat and swelling….well what more do you need to combat ED (That’s Erectile Dysfunction not Emergency department…..nobody knows the cure for the latter!)

Quite how the researchers came up with the hypothesis -Toxic Spider bite cures ED,  I don’t know, and if I did have ED I’m not sure how keen I’d be to try this approach…. “Well hello, nice legs, fancy going down for a bite???” (Sorry I’m feeling smutty this week!)

Hmmm, I think I’ll have to stop there, sorry it is short and random, this week, next week promises to be worse…but I’ll try my best…

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