You called your Nurse Practitioner what?
Some while ago, I wrote a post called “You called your baby what???” Well I thought perhaps I should turn it on its head and tell you what I get called from time to time, this post amazingly doesn’t include swear words!
Yes, amazingly I have been called some unpleasant things in my career.
I decided to write this post after a week in which I have seen 3 of my regular patients and have been called several things, most of them quite sweet.
As a Nurse Practitioner I have a few problems with people calling me “Doctor”. I’m a man, I wear a tie, and I run a clinic from a consulting room, I suppose the stereotype is bound to cause problems. I always correct my patient, after all I don’t want my employers to think I’m not being paid enough, imagine the guilt they would feel?!?!?!?!
None-the-less one of my patients used to call me Doctor Brown Bear, now I am Nurse Practitioner Brown Bear…but it’s a bit of a mouthful especially when you are 3 years old. For those of you not in the know, Dr Brown Bear is Peppa Pigs Doctor….
I also get called several things by one particular patient. A charming gent with a slight mental health history, who always gets in a muddle. He is one of those people who likes to say your name at the end of every sentence, which would be fine if he could manage to say the same thing every time. He starts off OK, calling me Mr Nurse, the starts to get confused between my first name, surname and eventually starts to spoonerise. So I go from Mr Nurse, to Mr Max, to Mr Murse and Mr Nax. All in the space of a 10 minute appointment. Still at least I’m not called Friar Tuck, I never know whether that’s a terrible spoonerism or a proposition?
Other patients also call me ”sweety”, “darling” and even “gorgeous”.
Needless to say my patients are often riddled with poor eyesight and mental health problems!
Yesterday I did get called “Wayne Kerr”. Well the statement was as follows… “You Wayne Kerr, I need my sleeping pills!” The patient was quite drunk, so perhaps that’s why he thought I was called Wayne! Unfortunately I didn’t give him his sleeping pills, because he had been drinking excessive alcohol. He thought I was being unreasonable as he’d only had 2 beers all day. Perhaps I was being harsh, but I hadn’t yet had my morning coffee!
In other news…
Apparently Scientistist have found the Pheromones that can make you irresistable to the opposite sex…that’s apparently not as exciting as it sounds as the studies have only been carried out on flies!
Still having the opposite sex attracted to your flies is a good start!