Archive for August, 2010

More excuses to eat chocolate.

Posted on August 20, 2010. Filed under: Apply topically |

I’m sure somewhere in the deep dark vault that is the “It shouldn’t happen…” archive there is a post getting its knickers in a knot about whether wine and chocolate are good for you or not.

The more intelligent of my readers…

…are probably well aware that rich dark chocolate can improve blood pressure and has other cardiovascular advantages.  Now however research has found that chocolate also decrease the risk of heart failure.  Personally it seems highly likely to me, if I don’t get chocolate I get total body failure and a broken heart…surely it’s the same thing. Those poor researchers spending time finding out something that we all already knew made us feel better. 

Closer inspection is obviously going to reveal that we should only eat small amounts…oh hang on it says…”moderate habitual chocolate intake”.  Ooooh, “moderate”.  Cool, that’s nicely subjective.  One lorry load is moderately less than two lorry loads…

For those of you who are perhaps a little unfamiliar with the term “Heart failure”. It’s one of the diagnosis that sounds a little more acutely severe than it actually is. “Failure!”  Oh my god, If  you get brake failure then they completely stop working and you end up dead….(although confusingly if your brakes fail you keep going!) So heart failure sounds pretty much like death. Fear not if you don’t like chocolate*. It’s not quite that drastic (it’s not great but not immediate death either).

The symptoms are of heart failure are: Shortness of breath on exertion, swollen ankles, lethargy, nausea and often weight gain… interestingly this is the same symptoms you get if you eat too much chocolate.  Perhaps the research just identified that if people eat lots of chocolate it’s difficult to spot heart failure from chocolate over dose.

Oh well. I’ll take the risks… back in that next lorry load for me.

*if you don’t like chocolate please seek psychiatric help immediately there is clearly something wrong with you!

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