More excuses to eat chocolate.
I’m sure somewhere in the deep dark vault that is the “It shouldn’t happen…” archive there is a post getting its knickers in a knot about whether wine and chocolate are good for you or not.
The more intelligent of my readers…
…are probably well aware that rich dark chocolate can improve blood pressure and has other cardiovascular advantages. Now however research has found that chocolate also decrease the risk of heart failure. Personally it seems highly likely to me, if I don’t get chocolate I get total body failure and a broken heart…surely it’s the same thing. Those poor researchers spending time finding out something that we all already knew made us feel better.
Closer inspection is obviously going to reveal that we should only eat small amounts…oh hang on it says…”moderate habitual chocolate intake”. Ooooh, “moderate”. Cool, that’s nicely subjective. One lorry load is moderately less than two lorry loads…
For those of you who are perhaps a little unfamiliar with the term “Heart failure”. It’s one of the diagnosis that sounds a little more acutely severe than it actually is. “Failure!” Oh my god, If you get brake failure then they completely stop working and you end up dead….(although confusingly if your brakes fail you keep going!) So heart failure sounds pretty much like death. Fear not if you don’t like chocolate*. It’s not quite that drastic (it’s not great but not immediate death either).
The symptoms are of heart failure are: Shortness of breath on exertion, swollen ankles, lethargy, nausea and often weight gain… interestingly this is the same symptoms you get if you eat too much chocolate. Perhaps the research just identified that if people eat lots of chocolate it’s difficult to spot heart failure from chocolate over dose.
Oh well. I’ll take the risks… back in that next lorry load for me.
*if you don’t like chocolate please seek psychiatric help immediately there is clearly something wrong with you!
It shouldn't happen in health care 
Phenomenal post. Insightful and entertaining as always!
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acai order
August 26, 2010
Who needs excuses to eat chocolate and who can stop at just one bite?..not me. I’m hoping that dark chocolate will be my saving grace as I enter my golden years. Alas for red wine, I only sniff the corks!
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Peter McCartney
August 27, 2010
Hello everyone
Glad to have found this blog. I am looking to socialize with other in the field. I am a RN in Atlanta area. I write lesson plans for anyone interested in opening a nursing assistant training center.
read my blog at http://www.cnalessonplans.com I have a lot of articles up about how health care is changing.
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linda parks
September 16, 2010
Good stuff Max,
But it has to be said that is dark chocolate the one carrying the benefits, your average Mars Bars doesn’t have much of it!!
Thanks for sharing
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Arrows Group
October 12, 2010
I love chocolate, but when I eat little than my daily share, I break out with large pimples such as small boyles.??
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Albee
October 22, 2010
I found this very funny as a health practitioner and chocolate lover myself. Also as a health fanatic I have always had to strike a balance with this treat. Now with the new research about the health benefits of chocolate I do not have to feel so guilty. All in moderation! Very funny take on a new research.
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Boston Chiropractor
October 27, 2012
[…] More Excuses To Eat Chocolate […]
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