Am I getting old yet?

Posted on February 18, 2016. Filed under: Uncategorized |

Last week an 81 year old lady came to see me complaining of feeling a little tired and light headed about once a fortnight for a few minutes each time…. I tried to seriously address her concerns whilst wondering if at half her age there wasn’t something wrong with me… As I feel like this much more often!

Then later in the week an 83 year old came to see me and said “thanks old man” as he left!    Crap I am less than half their age!! What hope do I have!?!?

One of my other “little old ladies” is just back from another exotic holiday… Hot air ballooning over Kenya!

Mrs Smith – you’re supposed to be in the basket!!

It all seems grand… Until one of the benefit posse come to see me… Younger than me, but on crutches, under the pain clinic with no recognisable diagnoses but heaps of meds and enough benefits to afford a far nicer car than my humble nurse practitioner wages can afford!

I do worry about a bit of a organised crime link in some of our patient groups…. Now I’m by no means talking about the Mafia… I love the Mafia…. (Not really, but I don’t want to wake next to the head of an old nag….. (No jokes about being married!)).

We seem to have a group of benefit claiming families, with multiple health problems who all seem to be really good friends with each other… I’ll go into the waiting room and find several patients that sink my heart and are not related to each other… But only one has an appointment and whoever is being less disabled/demanding that week has driven the more poorly patient down to the surgery! Perhaps my organised crime theory is wrong and there is some kind of group of unlucky friends that are coincidentally all ill… Or perhaps a Facebook group called; The unfit and unwell of Sickton! A special group where these poor sickly individuals have all joined and that’s how they know each other….. If I was friends with them all I think I’d start being treated for paranoia symptoms…is there one fit one in the group slowly poisoning off all her friends – will I be next???…..   urrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrg

Paranoia and conspiracy theories aside….It make you wonder….Are these super grans beating the benefit families, simply because they are genetically stronger, or mentally stronger, or just goddam stubborn. Perhaps these poor young people with all their obesity and pain is simply induced by a life of poor motivation….There is nothing to do but smoke weed and get fat, and when you smoke a lot of weed, you can’t work so you get broke (financially)  Broke v’s broken. Poor v’s poorly. Clever v’s just motivated .




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