Half of all adults could be clinically obese by 2050.
Oh cracking! Another piece of quality “government research” has been fed to the media in an attempt to scare us….Yes “half of all adults could be clinically obese by 2050”. When I heard this my immediate concern was….Oh my god which half?
There I am on New Years Eve 2049, my usual slim physique, then midnight strikes on Big Ben… I lean to kiss my wife and “SPLUNPH!” Half of all adults are obese. The kiss continues, she runs her hand down my slender back, but suddenly her hand gets stopped by the barrier that is my butt.
“Oh my god it’s true, half of all adults are obese – and it’s my lower half!” Still it could be worse, think of the strain on my slender legs, if my top half became obese!
What’s that you say? Oh I see! Half of the adult population will be obese! Phew what a relief! So I stop panicing…
…but what’s this… Alan Johnson Secretary of State for Health has added his comments that Obesity is as serious a threat as climate change.
Mr Johnson…double chinned and too lazy to walk into the building!
What a bizarre statement….lets have that again: “Obesity is as serious a threat as climate change”.
Is this because fat people leave a deeper carbon foot print, or something to do with fat people farting more than skinny folks? No! Fair enough, it is not saying that fat people will have an effect on climate change (that’ll be the next “government research” paper), but that obesity is as serious a threat….to what? I don’t know?
…Hang on! Global warming, massive amounts of the planet flooding as polar ice caps melt, while massive areas become over heated and dessert like. Potentially half of the UK flooded verses half of the UK being chubby…
No I’m struggling to see the comparison….oh I get it. Too many fat people to fit into the UK, so we export them to the north pole, where they have to open lots of McDonalds, and the heat from all that frying causes the ice caps to melt, or perhaps the UK floods as the Island sinks under the weight of so many fat people?
No I don’t get it! Sorry.
Lets look back…in Jan 2004…..we were advised that global warming was a more serious threat than terrorism. Therefore according to this logic, fat people are more a threat than terrorists! Personally I’d rather sit next to a fat person on a plane!
Watch out for fat terrorist, highly dangerous!
Talking of dangerous….Change of shift is out, which leaves you in danger of spending the whole day reading, and getting absolutely nothing else done! Enjoy.