Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

Posted on February 28, 2008. Filed under: Uncategorized |


This week more examples demonstrating that you’ll be lucky to get through life alive if you pay too much attention to the latest research…

The good news is…that power naps may boost your memory

Man dozing off on sofa6 minutes sleep can apparently get those old memory cells boosted. Great I could do with a better memory.  I’ll just read the newspaper to relax and then settle down for a quick 6 minute power nap.

I pick up the newspaper and read:

For those who had a habit of nodding off, the risk of stroke was two to four times higher than for those who never fell asleep in the day“.

So, I could have a power nap, remember things I would have otherwise forgotten, but be unable to tell anyone about it due to my slurred speach!  Great!

Apparently the team behind the research advised that we should be checking out older people who have a tendency to fall asleep in front of the TV during the day…. Oh my god!  If the government catches wind of this, I’ll have to go tapping on windows and checking vital signs of anyone dozing off during the afternoon edition of Doctors“, I can see the QOF form now:

Pt unresponsive as had stroke: Yes……..    No………

Pt unresponsive as crap programme bored them to sleep: Yes……  No……..

Pt dead as gave up the will to live due to poor quality day time TV:  Yes……. No……..

Doctor give government cash as Nurse Practitioner ticked the right boxes: Yes………. Yes………..

Pay rise given to Nurse Practitioner for doing the work: No……….. No……………

After doing those I’d need a glass of wine… after all we all know it’s good for you (Experts at five universities found that people who drank more than two glasses of red wine a day had 44% fewer colds than teetotallers)  or is it….

After one drink, blood vessels are more “relaxed” or dilated, which reduces the amount of work the heart has to do. (Great….) But,  (oh there had to be a “but” didn’t there) after two drinks, the heart rate, amount of blood pumped out of the heart, and action of the sympathetic nervous system all increase. Thanks Dr. John Floras, Director of Cardiology Research at the Peter Munk Cardiac Centre, and at Mount Sinai Hospital,

Sod the wine – it’s too confusing, get me a whisky….The British Medical Association apparently states that 30 grams of alcohol a day can protect against heart disease – That’s four shots of Scotch!  That’ll be fine.

Hic! Scotch can’t be bad for you……..

Meanwhile in my office:

Phone call of the week:  A patient rang up with a 24 hour ECG in situ wanting to know if he could use his mobile phone! 

“I don’t know, do you know where the “on” button is?”

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One Response to “Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.”

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Yep. Probably another tax funded study..I think I’ll have my whiskey now. Don’t let my Florida heart patients hear about that one. They already drink a bottle of red nightly to raise their HDLs.


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