Review of the week…

Posted on March 12, 2008. Filed under: Benign |

Patients Question of the week…

Having been given that rounding up statement by me, you know the one that tells the patient it really is time you left, my patient gets his coat and before leaving asks….

Do I go out the same way I came in? 

What I said was “yes!”

What I was wanting to say was….

a: “Yes, we like the patients in the waiting room to see people leave, so they know we didn’t kill you”

b: “No, I’m afraid you have to climb out of my window, the door only opens from the outside, I’m a slave in this room and to ensure I don’t leave you can’t open the door from the inside!”

c: “No, it is imperative that you walk out doing a chicken impression.”

Max’s daft rhetorical question of the week…

Is a bowel habit something worn by a crappy nun?

Blog related giggle of the week…

I often take the time to browse my blog statistics, and often take amusement at the search phrases that led people to my humble blog.  Often they border on the perverse, “Nurse + uniform + sex”. 

Sometimes I wonder what the hell I have been writing about to get “hits”, such as: “Infinite Banging 5″. I assume it is a good film, but I’m sure I haven’t done a preview for it (or starred in it).

Othertimes I wish I could contact the person doing the search and perhaps offer them some professional help, for examples whoever Googled: ” My bowel symptoms are like rabbit poo” or “Xray tech did rectal exam”

But this week I was amused by: “Dead corpse”.  After all it’s the alive corpses you need to worry about.

Worst history giver of the week:

Chap comes in and starts talking about very vague symptoms, I finally manage to discover he had a blackening coming over his eyes, and neck and head pains earlier all of which have now gone.

I still feel that I’m not being told something. I ask him to take his shirt off so I can examine his neck and shoulders and that’s when I KNOW there is something he has forgotten to tell me, 3 ECG stickers….

Pt: “Oh those, I thought I’d taken them off”

Turns out he’d collapsed while shopping!  Don’t suppose I really needed to know that part of his vague symptoms….DID I???


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3 Responses to “Review of the week…”

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Thanks for laughs this morning, Max.

[…] of Shift! He sends an amusing example of life as a nurse practitioner (and his sense of humor) in Review of the Week posted at It Shouldn’t Happen in […]

Thanks Max. I’ver never thought of how often patients ask how they find their way out. I’ll have to remember the window exit..

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