Posted on May 29, 2008. Filed under: Apply topically |

It’s that time of the year when I start to review patient with dementia and very topical it is too at the moment.  As the Kings Fund has released a new report on the short fall in mental health spending and the increased amount of patients with dementia. It states the number of people with dementia will go up from 582,827 in 2006 to 937,636 by 2026. 

My first thought is selfish…how old will I be in 2026…

I want to know for two reasons….Firstly : will I still be working….answer yes, and lots more year before retirement. (Heck that’s a lot of dementia review I’ll have to do…it could drive me mad(!!!)

Secondly : will I be starting to get the early signs of dementia (and would anybody notice).  I’ve had the dementia leaflets in my room for over a year, I keep meaning to put them in the waiting room but keep forgetting…is it starting already?

The BBC have published a handy guide on when to seek help, and reports that “The Alzheimer’s Society said up to two-thirds of people in England with dementia are never diagnosed, as they do not recognise the symptoms”. So let us take a look…. 

Do you struggle to remember recent events while finding it easy to recall things that happened in the past?
I’ve just read this three times and can’t remember what it said. I’m probably just distracted.
Do you find it hard to follow conversations or programmes on TV?
Have you met my patients, of course I find conversations hard to follow, and as for the TV, I watched the Eurovision song contest and didn’t understand the scoring.  England won the cricket, and won a international friendly at football, that never normally happens so perhaps I was confused… (mind you the football was against the USA – those guys must have really been upset when they realised they couldn’t wear shoulderpads and that the ball was round!) 
Do you regularly forget the names of friends or everyday objects?
Only friends I don’t like!!  Oh, and if you call everything a “thingy-ma-jig” or a “bit-ne-bob” that doesn’t count does it??
Do you find it difficult to recall things heard, seen or read?
Only when my wife goes on and on and then says; “you just don’t listen to me”….I’d like to reply to her: “there so much drivel comes out of your mouth, I don’t know when to listen or when to ignore you”, but I like my testicles where they are, so I say : “I do listen darling, I’m just a bit forgetful sometimes”.
Things read…hmm only if they are in a journal!
Do you struggle to make decisions?
No, well sometimes, but not really, it depends what it’s on, generally yes, well maybe, probably not, what do you think dear?
Do you repeat yourself in conversation or lose the thread of what you are saying?
Do you repeat yourself in conversation or lose the thread of what you are saying?
Do you repeat yourself in conversation or lose the thread of…urm what?
Sorry, what was I saying…oh yeah, Dementia incidence likely to increase, well that’s not too suprising with the increasing aging population. Apart from early detection and improved medication, there is not a lot we can do about that.  Do you ever think that if we just keep medicating every aspect of old age, people will never actually die, and therefore we will have an economic crisis, then they won’t let me retire until I’m 85? I swear the older I get the further I get from retirement.   
Do you have problems thinking and reasoning? Who said that? Oh, your just being cruel now, I’m feeling nervous and you’re silly questions are making me cross….
Do you feel anxious and depressed or angry about forgetfulness? I just said that.  It’s all your fault….
Do other people comment on your forgetfulness? I don’t think so, or at least I don’t remember them saying so. It’s not fair.
That’s it I’m off.

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5 Responses to “Demented!”

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All I can say is “join the club”. We’ll welcome you.

I feel quite relieved, I thought it was just
me ….!

Ah Max, I think it will be fun when all of us working in healthcare are as demented as our patients!

Radio 4 were doing programs about this last week. I’m interested as I my old dad may be showing signs.

Your humorous take on things has had me in stitches and … erm.. I’ve forgotten now.

Oh yes! I’ve added you to my blogroll so that I can get a regular *shot*.

Thanks for the laughs.

Thanks Max for your sense of humour! You are a hoot-laughter helps my husband and I deal with his dementia. Congratulations on keeping a serious topic light!

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