Archive for August, 2008

A sign of the times!

Posted on August 27, 2008. Filed under: Apply topically, Benign |

I can understand why people get upset by stereotypes, really I can…but I had to grin a little when I heard about the pensioners organisations that wanted the sign advising road users of elderly pedestrians to be changed

I say….she’s grabbing his bum!!

I work in an area with high levels of elderly patients, many are stooped and many have sticks.  Is this such a bad sign?  Apparently Age Concern state that: “Very few older people are hunched over, with a walking stick. They are assuming everyone who is old looks like that, and they don’t,” said Lizzy McLennan, a senior policy officer at the charity.

Well I suppose many of them are more mobile, and don’t have sticks.  So I suppose I could understand why the elderly might want a more funky replacement….I was going to say a “more hip replacement”, but that might be considered in bad taste!!

But what should the sign depict instead. Some agile pensioners dancing.

Well if they are agile surely they can nip across the road and therefore don’t need signs warning anyone.

The director general of Age Concern felt that rather than signs, a speed bump would slow drivers down. (We used to call them a sleeping policeman, but I guess the police felt this was sexist as we never drove over sleeping police women”) 

Fuzzy moment – black and white dream sequence : So it’s dark and raining, Max has just dropped granny off at the residential home and continues on his way when the car bumps over something….

Max: “GRANNYYYYYY !!! Are you OK???  If only they had a sign up, I wouldn’t have ran her over….”

Mrs. E Nurse in passenger seat : “Relax, it’s just a sleeping police man”

Max, putting the car in reverse: “I don’t pay my taxes so they can doze off in front of residential homes, serves the lazy bugger right”

Fuzzy moment and return to real life….hmmmm where was I?

Where will this road safety political correctness end?  Zebra’s and Pelican’s complaining as they have crossings names after them and yet they are not cross.

And I’ve always wondered how the wheels actually cross each other on skiddy roads!!

Incidentally the sign is listed in the Highway code as a warning of frail pedestrians. So I have to agree with the comment in the article suggesting that Age Concern really should be focusing on more useful issues, such a rising cost of heating, flu endemics etcetera, etcetera…..

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Armchair athletics…

Posted on August 19, 2008. Filed under: Apply topically, Journal from behind the desk... |

It’s been a typical British summer, the town is full of holiday makers, the clouds are full of rain, and all the kids are getting ready to return to school….Holy carp….  Summers nearly over.

Did it leave me wounded??  Well only a little.  The amount of “I’ve come on holiday and forgot my tablets” has been less than usual. 

There has been a slight increase in the amount of injured parents and grandparents (mostly dad’s and grandad’s) who thought it was OK to try and do what the kids do:

“Well we were playing cricket and little Jimmy smacked the ball high, so I jumped for it and rolled – just like on the TV, now my leg hurts and my wrist is shaped like a fork, I forgot I was 87 and had two hip replacements”

I often joke that exercises isn’t necessarily good for you…which leads me to the report that states arm chair spectators of the Olympics have been trying to compete…apparently a company that repairs gadgets has received around 50 calls from people wanting to set up their rowing machines and exercise bikes so they can practice keeping up with the Olympians.  My favourite quote in this article is from John Brewer of the Lucozade Sports Science Academy:

There has to be a degree of realism and common sense”

Oh my god….really.  Does this apply to everything in life!!!  Lets just hope they keep it to the rowing machine and exercise bike.   Otherwise it’ll be a case of…
“Honey, duck down I’ve just thrown my javelin in the kitchen….honey?… Sweety are you there??”
The ancient art of Javelin catching…
I have in the past commented on thanks…or the lack of.  Well this week I had a hugely grateful patient.  She went down the corridor after seeing me, in a loud voice saying “ooh isn’t he wonderful”, “he made me so much better” and other such gems. 
The patients in the waiting room should have been impressed, and had she not been with her mental health nurse, drooling, and generally looking quite mad, I’m sure this would have done my esteem a good deal…Oh well, apparently she has a tendency to spit on people and be grumpy…I’ll take thanks where I can, I’m not fussy.
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I am no poet…at least I know it!

Posted on August 14, 2008. Filed under: Uncategorized |

I haven’t much to tell, which reminds me of the day

My mother said “if you have nothing clever to say.

Say Nothing”.  She sometimes could be a bit that way!


So Max is still here, although perhaps just a little faint.

I still have tales to tell, and many of them quaint.

The weather here is terrible, the rain has been pouring,

It’s made many brains show more than a little flawing.

The effect of the dampness is not endearing.

A patient last week reported having “Blurred hearing”

Another worried about a “Barrow meal”, surely he meant barium,

Apparently the prospect was quite a scary ‘un.

But alas it is not just the patients suffering from this.

When I reported that my patient had “Arthrio-ostritis!”

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