Archive for June, 2009

It all ad’s up…

Posted on June 23, 2009. Filed under: At home..., Benign |

There must be an absolute heap of money in advertising, I did consider it once for the blog, but really couldn’t be bothered for the few quid I might make, but when it comes to big drug companies they spend a fortune and can afford to, because presumably it pays off.

I find a nights TV watching can really aggravate me if the adverts in-between my favourite programs (“How to Murder someone and get away with it”…or “CSI” as some people call it) are for medications (and I know day time TV is worse, but thankfully I have a job!)

It’s all the “…the best thing for …(insert any common illness)… without a prescription” crap that gets on my nerves, whether it is hydrogen peroxide, AKA bleach for ears… (please don’t use it) or expensive cough mixture that just equates to honey, glycerin and lemon, but costs a fortune. (Make your own… and maybe a splash of whiskey…).

Now the reason I mention this is two fold…firstly it is that despite all this money, the advertising companies seem to come up with some really stupid names…

if the cream doesn’t work, get a suppository and you can shove it up your anus ‘ol’!

…and secondly they also come up with some really stupid phrases…last night my wife and I got the giggles having watched the advert for Canesten Duo, one tablet and a tube of cream that’ll sort out that thrush and…apparently it…

“Leaves you feeling yourself again!”

To watch it click here

Urm… is someone in the advertising department just really sweet- minded and didn’t consider the connotations, or did a team sit round “brainstorming”…

I can visualise it now…

Idiot team leader (ITL)…”Yay, OK, Urm.. so any thoughts about what’s bad about thrush, team?”

New boy in team…”My mum says it’s itchy and sore!”

ITL: “Yay, OK good. Urm so what are the consequences…”

Sweaty bald bloke: “Well if m’ bits were sore I wouldn’t be able to play wiv m’self, so if I were a women, I wouldn’t be able to feel me’selves up like”

ITL: “OK great, so if you use the cream, you’ll be able to feel yourself again…great punchy line to finish on eh? Shall we discuss it with some of the ladies on the team…oh actually, no lets not bother”.

All I can say is if advertising is worth doing, at least have some thought into what exactly you are trying to say!

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What I’ve learnt this week at work…

Posted on June 10, 2009. Filed under: Benign |

Often working as a Nurse Practitioner is educational, there will sometimes be a patient present with a condition or medication I have never heard of and thus I need to look it up and find out more, but this week I’ve decided to focus on the non medical aspects of what I’ve learnt from patients this week…

Lesson 1: Maggots are dyed different colours depending what fish you are trying to catch.  Apparently different fish are attracted to different colours!

Lesson 2: There is a sign in our local bowls club that specifically says not to leave bowls bags in the corridor, but some people ignore it. I was told this while assessing an old mans leg…victim of a misplaced bowls bag!

Lesson 3: I still don’t like teenagers having a crush on me…and at my age too! I suppose I should be flattered!

Lesson 4: Despite poor personal hygiene, poor fitting dentures that drop every time you open your mouth and being scruffy, you can still have sexual relations and get a girlfriend 13 years younger when you are 58! (this has nothing to do with Lesson 3, hopefully when I am 58, I shall be a little better presented, in which case I would find it perfectly acceptable to have a 45 year old girlfriend…although I’m not sure my wife would be too keen!!!!!)

Lesson 5: Some people like to moan, but their face shows great disappointment when you resolve what they were moaning about.

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Catchy uppy!

Posted on June 3, 2009. Filed under: Apply topically, Benign |

Whoa….someone stop the ride….

I’ve been hellishly busy of recent, and I am just typing up a quickie!  So where have I been…here and there is the answer, meeting, greeting and patient bleatings, but for the most part I’ve been bringing in the cash for the surgery by meeting government targets.  I was given two weeks to do a years work that someone forgot about until the last minute and then went ” Quick get Max to sort it…”  and actually I feel I did quite well!  Maybe I should sign up for next years Apprentice.

So what have I missed the opportunity to blog about during this time.

Well Swine flu cases have increased, but the media has lost interest, mostly due to another pig related story….

or perhaps it is just that Swine flu is less of a concern since the release of…….

But due to my lack of time to blog, I’ve finally given up the resistance to Twittering!  So just in case anyone was worried I had dropped off the planet or finally given up blogging, I can pop in and post a few words up in the top right corner and keep everything a little fresh!

Right off I go…people to see, places to go, illness to diagnose, paper work to do, courses to study, phone calls to make, emails to respond to that I’ve ignored for the past fortnight…hmmmmm, perhaps I should get a job as a nurse or something rather that an office worker…oh hang on, my mistake, I AM A NURSE!!

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