Archive for September, 2009
So over my few weeks off I hear a story on the news, that makes me stop and scratch my head a little…
(and no I didn’t get splinters).
Now perhaps I’m missing the point, perhaps I’m being controversial and am going to get slated for the following post, but it seems to me I am not the one missing the point, and from what I hear and read about the subject the more I seem to be the only one who thinks it’s laughable. Anyhow, lets look at the story….
The BBC website entitled their article :
No! Not crimes against heroines!
Now if you don’t fancy reading the article here are the basics of it…
100 drug addicts are given either FREE methadone or FREE diamorphine (AKA medical class heroin), and then assessed to see how much they were getting in trouble with the Police, how much they were using street drugs and how much they were spending on drugs…
Guess what…the pilot scheme showed that:
“One of the heroin addicts on the programme, a 34-year-old man called John, had been addicted for eight years when the trials began. He fed his habit by dealing.
“My life was just a shambles… waking up, chasing money, chasing drugs,” he said.
But John said the scheme had transformed his life “100 per cent” and he now had a part-time job.”
Well of course his life has been transformed, some nice clinic is supplying his drugs so he does not have to worry about it.
I’ve been thinking more about this kind of initiative, I commute to work, and that’s not very environmentally friendly, so perhaps the government can do some research on the benefits to the environment by paying me the same wage to stay at home and get someone else to do my job… I bet the results show I use less fuel by not driving to work!
OK, so I’ve had three weeks off and returned to 200+ emails and a stack of post
My room looked like it had been tidied when in fact it had been stripped of all essential goods, (gloves, urine sticks, prescriptions etc.) Someone had even found a half rotten apple in my cupboard, and rather than usefully thowing it away, they’d gone to the effort of writing on it some sarcastic comment about it being “not exactly fresh fruit”, and nobody had bothered to water my plant. Needless to say I’ve some catching up to do, and writing my blog is going to have to go on hold for another week. Well sort of… 3 weeks with no post is bad enough, but 4 is terrible, so I’ve found a relevent email I though you might enjoy…and I’ll try to restore normal service next week….
Disclaimer for the stupid…the following is supposed to be funny and not to be taken for advice!!!!!!!
Q: I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it… don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can’t think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain… Good!
Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU’RE NOT LISTENING!!! ….. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they’re permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans ! Another vegetable!!! It’s the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! ‘Round’ is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember: ‘Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways – Chardonnay in one hand – chocolate in the other – body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming ‘WOO HOO, What a Ride’ AND….. For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 2 so far )